Help with Social Phobia

Article by Paul and Denise Douglass

The problem of social phobia (social anxiety, or social anxiety disorder) is one of the most common phobias around.

Social phobia is certainly the single most common cause of problem that we help people with.

Social phobia revolves around a fear of how others might see you, what they think of you, and feeling that whatever you're doing is getting noticed.

The fear of being judged.

In essence, social phobia is a fear of being judged. 

If you suffer from social phobia / social anxiety, this fear becomes your own worst enemy.

The symptoms of social phobia (social anxiety).

The symptoms produced by this condition can vary from ... 

• dry mouth
• blushing
• feeling sick
• shaking
• feeling weak
• shy bladder (inability to urinate in public toilets)
• stammering
• diarrhoea
• stuttering
• sweating
• having palpitations.

...Ultimately, it can cause a full-blown anxiety attack or panic attack. Social anxiety also shares many similar symptoms with general anxiety,

Social situations

The fear of social phobia is based around social / public situations, and these can range from anything such as nights out, to going shopping, meeting people, going to work, parties, entertainment situations, or even a complete inability to use public toilets (shy bladder), as well as many other situations where people come into some kind of contact with others.

Avoidance.

Indeed, they may arrange their whole life to avoid situations where social interactions may occur. 

This can include avoiding using / answering the telephone, or typing / writing something down in front of others, avoiding signing their name, or indeed anything that could possibly put them at the centre of attention, or 'on the spot'.

How to overcome social phobia

The one thing we'd like to say right from the start, is don't worry, you CAN overcome social phobia when you know how.

This problem is, of course, is all about the fear that people may be judging you negatively, which is usually more of an assumption that you're making rather than being a fact, so if you can use some simple techniques to change those assumptions, then you're well on your way to overcoming it.

All you need to do, is use the right techniques.

What we've found over the years, is that there are a few simple techniques that you can use to overcome social phobia.

Sometimes, people who have social phobia can often feel quite out of control and negative about things, because it can sometimes feel like they're stuck with it, and there's nothing that can be done about it (which of course there is!).

So the first thing to understand if you're looking to get over your social phobia, is that that there IS something that can be done, and even that in itself can help you feel a bit more in control right from the start.

So, as we say, don't worry... we've found over the years, that there are a few simple techniques that you can use to overcome social phobia... you CAN overcome social phobia when you know how... it just might be that you need someone to show you how!

Next: What techniques can you use to overcome social anxiety?

I just wanted to let you know how I was getting on, basically, I have been meaning to thank you for a while but I keep forgetting because to be honest I don't even think about my 'problem' these days, its history and I can't believe how much it previously dominated my life. 

I actually thought about the treatment only last week after I had been out for a meal with some of my girlfriend's family whom I had only just met. A year ago I would either made an excuse not to go, or had to get drunk to relax beforehand, but I just walked in to the restaurant, sat down and enjoyed myself, no problems, no fuss, no worry. 

There have no doubt been countless occasions since we concluded the treatment when I have acted differently to before, but its become such a way of life now that I take it for granted and feel so much more relaxed and happy for it.

Thank you so very much for the treatment, I was beginning to doubt I could ever have been 'cured' but I have been, the few people that I have told about it all asked me the same question "so what did she do to you?" and I always say "I'm not quite sure, but it definitely worked!

...a social anxiety client based in Derbyshire

Low self confidence and self esteem.

Often, when a person has social anxiety, their self esteem is low, they are lacking in confidence, they are sometimes not even able to hold eye contact. 

There is usually an intense dislike of being introduced to people, often anxiety over eating / drinking in public - the very things that most people enjoy, such as having dinner in a lovely restaurant, can bring dread to someone with social phobia.

Suggestion Therapy and Self Confidence

Another way that many people like to boost their self confidence, is using 'suggestion therapy'.

Suggestion therapy is a nice, relaxing form of therapy that can really help with feeling more confident and outgoing. Suggestion therapy can either be done as a one-to-one session (see our find-a-therapist service to find a hypnotherapist in your area), or via our hypnosis download, Boost Your Self Confidence with Hypnosis. Read more about Boost Your Self Confidence with Hypnosis.

Social phobia in the workplace.

Social phobia may also manifest itself as the avoidance of situations involving confrontations with colleagues, especially when involving figures of authority, such as supervisors and managers.

This can dramatically increase the effects of the social phobia / social anxiety, bringing with it the attendant dread and unease.

Other effects of social phobia.

Parties can be stressful and because of this, the need to have a drink beforehand, to "loosen up a bit", and relax enough to release those social inhibitions, becomes of prime importance to the sufferer.

Over time, this social phobic condition may go on to develop into depressive illnesses, or because the sufferers end up avoiding so many social places, they may go on to develop agoraphobia.

Some people with social phobia, or social anxiety disorder, may use drugs, alcohol, or tranquillisers as crutches, and sometimes become addicted to them.

Fear of Public Speaking / Stage Fright / Performance-Related Fear.

It's interesting to note, that fear of public speaking (or stage fright) is also a form of social phobia (social anxiety), and yet the individuals concerned may lead perfectly normal lives, with no problems or anxiety at all over socialising, or eating in front of others, etc.

Yet, when the person in question has to stand in front of others, and give a talk, demonstration or performance, then the social anxiety can come out full force, and they too might feel sick, shaky, stammer, their mouth dry over, or their heart will start to race. 

Actors, singers, sales people, musicians, teachers, etc, can all suffer from this debilitating "stage fright" form of social anxiety, as well as people giving presentations, talks or wedding speeches.

But, whatever the profession, or reason for giving the speech, and however this condition affects them, this can be a very demoralising and debilitating situation to be in.

Further information on Stage Fright

Hi Denise...

I am finally back to myself...

All I want to do is just to say thank you to you and how grateful I am for all those magic things you have done to me.

Life couldn't be better now and finally I get to enjoy it.

Thank you so much for giving me my life back. I wish you all the best.

...a 'blushing' client from London

Related Links:

• Stage Fright
• Low Self-Confidence
• Low Self Esteem
• Fear of Public Speaking
• Anxiety
• Panic Attacks (Anxiety Attacks)

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